


Introductions

by RovingRomy



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Dark Nest Trilogy - Troy Denning
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-02 10:31:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10216013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RovingRomy/pseuds/RovingRomy
Summary: A rewrite of Jacen Solo meeting his daughter





	

**Author's Note:**

> There was a conversation a little while ago on tumblr about the fact that there are a lot of areas in the NJO, Dark Nest, and LotF books that don't explore the emotion as well as they should and since everyone in the conversation were Tenel Ka/Jacen shippers, there was a lot of focus on the scene where Jacen first meets his daughter. So I decided to rewrite the scenario.

Jacen is having a very difficult time wrapping his head around what’s happening right now, because if there’s one thing he knows Tenel Ka is _not_ , it’s cruel.

And yet here she is, the only woman he’s ever loved, smiling with so much joy, breaking the news to him that she’d taken a Hapan husband by introducing him to their child.

He tries to keep his face emotionless as he watches her standing by the crib, her lone hand disappearing inside to stroke at the baby’s hair. Despite the aching in his chest, the deep hurt that seems to have filled his entire being, his breath catches at the sight of her. He’s not sure she’s ever looked more beautiful. Tired, but beautiful, her hair loose and somewhat messy, her face clean, her smile wide and radiant. It makes his chest ache in a different way for a moment, before he looks back at the crib, the disappointment and sadness welling up again. Closing his eyes, Jacen puts a wall up between them, cutting off their connection so she can’t feel how much she’s hurting him. She’s so focused on the baby that she doesn’t seem to notice.

Finally, Tenel Ka looks up at him, her eyes sparkling with excitement.  "You cannot see anything from there, Jacen. Come in,“ she says, motion toward the crib with her head. "I have someone to introduce you to.”

“So I see,” Jacen responds, taking a moment to swallow past the lump in his throat. “Congratulations,” he continues, hoping his voice doesn’t crack.

“Thank you,” she responds, smile still bright, but her eyes slightly confused. “Come along Jacen. She won’t bite.”

Tenel Ka holds her hand out to him, beckoning him to stand beside her near the crib. Swallowing again, he takes a step forward, moving slowly, trying to compose himself.

He just doesn’t understand. Despite the fact that they had said it would only be one night, they had spent the past year in contact, talking over the holonet whenever they could find a secure connection, reaching out to each other through the Force. Nothing she had said or done in all that time had given him any indication that anything had changed, that she had gotten married and was going to have a child. As long as the baby was healthy and had been carried to term, the latest this could have happened, the latest she could have taken a husband would be… what, three months after their night together? That left more than ten months of them carrying on with her lying to him.

It doesn’t make sense. Tenel Ka doesn’t lie, and she isn’t cruel. Even if she couldn’t tell him over the holonet for some reason, she would have found some way to communicate to him that the situation had changed. And she certainly wouldn’t tell him about it in _this_ way. She knows him better than anyone at this point. Certainly she’d know that this would break his heart.

Finally, he reaches the crib. As soon as he comes to stand beside her, Tenel Ka reaches for his hand, lacing their fingers together and squeezing. Jacen doesn’t look at her face. _Can’t_ look at her face, can’t look at all that joy she’s getting from a life he can’t give her.

Instead he looks into the crib, and he’s not sure that this pain is any better. There’s an actual, physical ache inside of him. The baby can’t be more than a week or two old, so it doesn’t look like anybody yet, just all downy, colorless hair and soft, somewhat smooshed features. But knowing that it’s the baby that Tenel Ka had _with someone else_ is almost too much to bear.

The baby turns its head from where she’s gazing at her mother to look at Jacen, eyes locking on his and the sudden flow of something new and unfamiliar hits him so hard he grips at the side of the crib, his knuckles going white. It’s a jolt of connection, almost as strong as the one he has with Tenel Ka, if not stronger, and it makes the rest of the world fuzzy for a minute. He places his hand on the baby’s chest, a gentle touch, marveling at this sudden, intense connection.

The touch grounds him and he knows. This is his child.

The Force is practically screaming it at him, and he can feel it in his heart now, the aching gone and replaced with the absolute, overwhelming certainty that this is his daughter.

He looks over at Tenel Ka, unable to speak. Her hand his still in his and she squeezes it again as she watches him. She has tears in her eyes, and her voice cracks with emotion and excitement when she says,  "Go ahead and pick her up, Jacen. You do know how to hold a newborn, don’t you?“

Really, he’s not so sure he does. He’s not really sure he knows much of anything right now, other than that he’s standing next to the two most beautiful things he’s ever seen and that there’s a feeling of joy bubbling up in his chest, sweeping away the ache and pain that was there before and replacing it with something that’s entirely new.

But it doesn’t make sense. It’s been over a year since the night he stayed with her.  This baby can’t be more than a few weeks old. How is this possible?

Despite her wide smile, Tenel Ka manages to smirk at him as he stands there, motionless and completely gobsmacked.  "Here, let me show you,” she says, reaching into the crib with her arm, scooping the baby up with a hand behind her head. “Just keep a firm hold, and always support the neck.”

Jacen opens his arms, letting her place the baby in them, and watching as she readjusts him to provide the best support. She strokes a finger down the baby’s cheek. “This is your father,” she whispers to the tiny thing, letting out something that almost sounds like a giggle when the baby wraps her finger up in its tiny hand.  He watches the baby for a long, long moment, locking eyes with her once again as he feels that connection vibrate, until her eyelids start to droop, eventually falling shut as she drops off into sleep.

“How?” he whispers, finally looking up at Tenel Ka.

“The Force,” she responds, the tone of her voice carrying an implied _obviously._ “I slowed things down so that nobody would connect her to the night you spent here.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks, keeping his voice low. “We talked so many times over the holonet, and the connection was always secure. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Can you honestly say that if I had told you that you wouldn’t have wanted to come to Hapes right away?” she counters, arching an eyebrow.

“No,” he says somewhat bashfully, looking back down at the baby. “I guess not.”

Tenel Ka lets out a quiet hum, satisfied that he agrees with her. Her hand reaches out to stroke the baby’s hair where a little tuft rests against her forehead. Jacen watches, almost mesmerized, as he stands with the woman he loves while they look down at their daughter.

Their _daughter_.

“Tenel Ka,” he breathes out, looking up at her. She meets his gaze, a tear falling down her cheek. He carefully takes the baby’s weight fully onto one arm, bringing his other arm up so he can wipe the tear away, holding her cheek in his hand. She leans into his touch, turning her face so she can press a kiss into his palm. “I love you.”

She smiles, another tear escaping from the corner of her eye, and she steps closer to him, leaning up toward his lips. “I love you, too,” she whispers just before their lips meet in a soft kiss, both of them mindful of the baby between them.

They press their foreheads together when they separate, basking in the way the Force flows between the three of them, their connection buzzing with a bright happiness at the new addition.

“Does she have a name yet?” Jacen asks as Tenel Ka drops back down to stand flat on her feet.

“No. Not yet. I didn’t want to name her until you got here.”

“Why did you wait a week?”

“I thought it would look suspicious if I summoned you as soon as she was born with no reason. It wouldn’t do to have slowed the pregnancy and spent twelve months carrying her only to make it obvious to any interested party just because of how desperately I wanted you here with us.” She takes a deep breath, leaning her head against his shoulder, her voice turning said. “Life will be dangerous enough for our daughter without all of my nobles knowing that you are the father.”

Jacen only has a second to think about her words before the moment between them is broken by the sound of Ben’s voice - “You’re a father?” - and all hell starts to break loose.

* * *

“Hello, Allana,” Jacen whispers to his newly-named daughter, cradling her close to him as he stands next to her bassinet. He can feel Tenel Ka’s eyes on him, her gaze almost as palpable as what he can feel through their bond, the confusing mix of love, joy, and startled concern. When he looks over at her, though, she has a soft smile on her face, her eyes meeting his as a moment of contentment passes between them.

“When you first came into her room earlier,” Tenel Ka starts, her voice low and gentle, “for a brief moment I thought I felt through our bond that you were… sad.”

He blushes, thinking back to when he first saw her with the baby, embarrassed by what he thought then, almost ashamed, even, that he thought she would ever lie to him like that.

“I thought,” he says, letting out a heavy breath that sounds a bit like a laugh. “You hadn’t told me anything so I thought that maybe… you had taken a husband.”

“And that Allana was his?” she asks, her eyes wide and her tone disbelieving.

His smile is bashful. “What was I supposed to think? It’s been a year since we’ve seen each other, and like I said, you didn’t tell me anything.”

“Jacen,” she says seriously after a quiet moment. “There is no one in the galaxy for me but you. There never will be.”

Tears prick at the back of his eyes and he has to swallow against the overwhelming feeling her confession gives him. “I know,” he tells her, his voice tight. “But I know what you’re expected to do as Queen Mother.”

“I do not care what is _expected_ of me,” Tenel Ka interrupted, her nose rising in the air in indignation. “I will not let my personal life be dictated by the Hapan people.”

He has to fight back against the retort that forms on his tongue, the urge to argue back that she already has. That if what she’s saying were true then he would have been able to know they were going to have a child, they wouldn’t have to hide the fact that he’s the father… they would be able to be together for more than these stolen moments they can only have in secret.

Instead, he moves closer to the couch, standing in front of her as he gazes down at her, their eyes meeting in a way that makes the bond between them spark. “You’re the only one for me, too,” he tells her. “You always have been. It’s always been you.”

Her face only gives the slightest indication that what he said has had any effect on her, the corners of her lips twitching up for a moment. But he can feel it between them, the happiness his words bring her, the joy she feels at the knowledge of how much her loves her, how much he’s always loved her.

He looks back down at the baby in his arms and closes his eyes, enjoying how normal and ordinary the moment is. Right now he’s just a father holding his newborn daughter in his arms, the woman he loves, the mother of his child, sitting nearby. For a moment he’s able to pretend that this is his life, that this is the way things really are. That he’s not going to have to leave, that he’s not going to have wonder when the next time he’ll be able to see them will be, that their relationship, their family, doesn’t have to be a secret.

But then he opens his eyes and sees Ben, still unconscious, lying peacefully on the couch of the safehouse, and the fantasy is broken. He sighs deeply, placing the sleeping baby in her crib, and walking to the couch to sit next to Tenel Ka, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her close.

“I wish you didn’t have to go,” she whispers. He wonders if she could feel what was going through his mind through the Force, or if she just knows him well enough to know what he’s thinking.

“Me too,” Jacen says, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “But I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

She sighs, resting her head against his shoulder. He can feel her, probing at him through the Force, and he fills their bond with all the love her feels for her, for their daughter, wanting her to know everything he couldn’t possibly put into words in any adequate way.

But when he looks back down at her, her brow is furrowed, and she’s studying him with a concerned expression.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, trying to get a read on her emotions and coming up against a wall of worry and fear.

Her eyes drift over to Ben where he’s resting on the opposite couch. “Was what you did to my grandmother really necessary?”

“Of course it was,” he says without hesitation. “You know her even better than I do, Tenel Ka. And we both know she was never going to stop. This was the only way to keep our daughter safe from her. It was the only way to keep _you_ safe.”

“And Ben? Was that necessary?”

Jacen lets out a heavy, growing uncomfortable with the line of questioning. “Maybe there could have been some other way to subdue him, to get him to calm down. I don’t know. Time was of the essence and I had to think quickly.”

She turns her gaze to him, her face taking on that stoic, blank expression he had grown so familiar with when they were kids. He can feel that she’s studying him, looking for something, and he feels a somewhat dull ache in his chest that she seems to be doubting him.

Finally, she shakes her head, her expression breaking as a vague sadness settles over her features. “I just worry about you,” she whispers. “Not being able to be with you so much of the time, not knowing what’s happening to you and what you’re doing… So much has happened. So much is still happening. And I worry what it might do to you. I always worry.”

The feeling of worry, the heavy weight of it hits him through their connection, and Jacen finds himself tightening his arm around her, pulling her in and wrapping his other arm around her back, holding her close as she melts into him, pressing her face into his neck and breathing in deeply.

“You don’t need to worry,” he assures her, his hand moving up to run through her hair soothingly. Her heartbeat starts to slow down a bit at his touch and she hums out a sound of contentment, dropping a light kiss on his neck. “I’ve got two pretty good reasons to make good decisions,” he finishes, flashing Tenel Ka a lopsided grin as she pulls back to look at him.

Her expression remains uncertain for a brief moment before a smile starts to pull at the corners of her lips. “Just… be careful. And come back to us.” Her expression sobers, her eyes becoming shiny with tears. “I’ve already had to feel you die once. I do not want to have to go through that again.”

Guilt squeezes at his heart as he thinks of what she had to go through, what his sister had had to go through, after the mission on Myrkr. “You won’t”.

“Promise me,” she breathes out, her voice desperate and her grip tight as her fingers clench against his shoulder.

“I promise,” Jacen whispers, meaning it with his whole heart. He presses his forehead to Tenel Ka’s, breathing her in for a moment before capturing her lips with his in a long, slow kiss. It won’t be long before he has to leave, taking Ben on the trip that was promised to cover their tracks. For the little time he has left he wants to sink into the moment, holding the mother of his child in his arms while their daughter sleeps a few feet away, promising himself that this will not be the last time he feels the contentment and joy passing through the connection the three of them have.


End file.
